put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
