I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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