oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
