No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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