My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
