Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
