I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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