I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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