I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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