your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So much rum. So many feels.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
