brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
