Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
