and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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