I puked a lego.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
