And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
