Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This is my gift to your gina
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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