I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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