We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love having hate sex.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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