I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
