even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
