I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
