im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish my penis had a tongue
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
