Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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