a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
