Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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