she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
