D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
