I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
