dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
