No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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