plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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