just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
