Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
