Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
