Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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