Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
