Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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