gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
