garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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