Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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