Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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