these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
