I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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