During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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