...so i touched it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
