It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
