oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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