question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
