Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
