I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize