Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
