Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
