if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you traded sex for a burrito?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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