smell my finger.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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