How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
