You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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