i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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